Five Minutes In My Head

This truly just happened:

Phew! Finally. The floors are all swept and ready to mop. Just spent 20 minutes scouring the surprise treasure-trove of fuzzy gray debris and black goo under the refrigerator. Unbelievable how much damage three 20-something guys living together in one house can do in two years. So. Where to mop first? How about the small tile section by the front door? Okay. Close the front door to clean behind it. Oh, yuck, more black goo! Better clean that up by hand, then come back with the mop. Head to the kitchen for paper towels. Oh wait, there's a roll of paper towels in the bathroom, which is closer. Huh? What is this little pile of dirt doing in the bathroom? Pause. Stand for a few seconds and stare inquisitively. Why is there dirt here? Oh! That's right. I swept in here an hour ago. Got distracted by the refrigerator project. Forgot to come back with the dustpan. Well, it's not very much. I'll just take this wet rag and wipe it up. Rinse it down the sink. Oh, right. This sink is stopped up. Gotta remember to put Dran-o on my shopping list. In fact, I gotta remember to START the shopping list. Maybe I should do that now. But no writing paper in the house. Maybe I'll just text the list to myself. Go for the phone sitting on the desk in the room down the hall. Hey, the music stopped. Get the ipod shuffling. That's better. Notice the phone blinking at me. A missed call and a message! An invitation for beer. Mmmm... beer. But no... I really should finish the mopping. It's the only thing left to do before the house will be ready for me to move in. Oh, as long as I'm holding the phone... I meant to check on my kid. Wander into my room, stretch out across the bed, call the parents... Hi, Dad, how's Kate? Fine? Swimming? Great. I'll see you guys in a bit. Gotta mop first. Bye. God, it's muggy in here. Stare up at the whirring ceiling fan. Mmm... maybe I DO want a beer. Should I go? No... I should mop. Okay, go get the mop. Get up and head towards the front of the house. Wait. What was I doing? Oh right... the black goo behind the door. Oh right... the paper towels. Oh right... they're in the bathroom. Good god, wasn't I just in here to get the paper towels?